BLACK LINES
  • Blog
  • Top Shit
  • About

regret is a form of hatred against yourself

5/6/2015

Comments

 
if you weren't born yesterday, you've done some shit you wish you didn't.

particularly for those of us with obsessive tendencies, it's easy to ruminate on past mistakes you've made in your life, digging yourself deeper and deeper into some mental pit.

why didn't I do x when I should have done y ? I'm a fucking idiot, you say to yourself.

I know. I've been there. I've done things I look back on, and honestly, I just want to punch myself in the face. Treated people who loved me like shit, the works. Somewhere, somebody is telling somebody else a story, and then their friend says what a fucking douchebag. 

I am that guy, and so are you. We all are.

the problem with this mental feedback loop is that it doesn't stop, and if you let it, it's going to eat at you from the inside. When you look back at that critical moment, telling yourself that you should have done otherwise, that it was completely your fault - you are hurting yourself. You are refracting all the hatred and anger about the past back onto yourself, like a prism focusing light onto a single point.

here is how you stop hating yourself: you realize that you are wrong. that you couldn't have done otherwise. that you do not have free will. regret is a form of hatred against yourself, but it's not even wrong.

you are a puppet made out of meat, and the laws of physics are the strings.

when you realize that regret doesn't even make sense - do you regret digestion? do you regret your reflexes? do you regret the rain? - that's when you become to let go of the guilt you have, and focus purely on becoming a better person, and making better decisions going forward.

if you're not versed in philosophy, check out Daniel Miessler's excellent introductory posts on free will:
  • Free Will: The Two Lever Argument
  • Why it matters that you could not have done otherwise


Other related works I recommend:
  • Galen Strawson's The Impossibility of Moral Responsibility
  • Sam Harris's Free Will
  • Greg Caruso on the Dark Side of Free Will
Comments

    writer

    cynic, idealist​
    posts on most weeks

    RSS Feed

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    October 2017
    September 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014

    people I admire

    Haruki Murakami
    Michel Houellebecq
    Bret Easton Ellis
    Chuck Palahniuk
    Marcus Aurelius
    Sam Harris
    Bon Iver
    Dallas Green
    Frank Yang
    Cary Fukunaga
    Leo Babauta
    Luke Muelhauser
    Jake Seliger
    Jack Cheng
    Scott Alexander
    Mark Manson

    Categories

    All
    AI
    Alex Rosenberg
    And The Departed Leave Behind Gifts
    Anime
    Arrivcal
    Asian
    Atheism
    Basic Income
    Biracial
    Bon Iver
    Bro Philosophy
    Broscience
    Chad Kultgen
    Chinks
    Christian Apologetics
    City And Colour
    Confirmation Bias
    Cormac McCarthy
    Cory Doctorow
    Cynicism
    Dallas Green
    Daniel Miessler
    Death
    Don't Forget To Bring A Towel
    Drones
    East Asia
    Emo
    Emo Shit
    Empathy
    Ethnocentrism
    Evangelical Christianity
    Evolution
    Evolutionary Psychology
    Failing And Flying
    Failing LIKE A BOSS
    Failure
    Fiction
    Fiction Writing
    Flow State
    Forgiveness
    Frank Yang
    Frans De Waal
    Freedom Of Speech
    Free Will
    Funereal
    Game Of Thrones
    General
    Goals
    Grave Of The FireFlies
    Grief
    Half-Asian
    Hapa
    Hate Speech
    Hath Not A Jew Eyes?
    Heartbreak
    Heartiste
    Homunculus
    Hope
    Human Biodiversity
    Idealism
    Identity
    Immortality
    Incompatibilism
    Inspiration
    Jack Cheng
    Jack Gilbert
    John Loftus
    Junot Diaz
    Ken Jeong
    K-Pop
    Lee Strobel
    Leo Babauta
    Letting Go
    Levels
    Love
    Machine Intelligence
    Machine Learning
    Majid Jordan
    Make Good Art
    Malcolm X
    Man's Search For Meaning
    Many Worlds Hypothesis
    Mark Manson
    Memento Mori
    Michael Fassbender
    Michel Hollebecq
    Michel Houellebecq
    Microaggression
    Micro-aggression
    Mindfulness
    Minimalism
    Minimalist Tattoos
    MINO
    Mixed Race
    Miyamoto Musashi
    Moonlight
    Music
    Narrative Distance
    Neil Gaiman
    Night's King
    Nihilism
    Novel Writing
    Oculus Rift
    Operating System
    Oppression
    Philosophy
    Philosophy Of Evolution
    Philosophy Of Mind
    Principles
    Provocation Versus Art
    Pseudoscience
    Quantum Physics
    Race
    Racial Identity
    Racism
    Rational Actor Theory
    Rationality
    Ravi Zacharias
    Reductionism
    Regret
    Rob Montgomery
    Sam Harris
    Scientific Racism
    Serious Advice This Time
    Short Story
    Simulation Argument
    Singularity
    Skynet
    South Korea
    Steve McQueen
    Studio Ghibli
    Suicide
    Tattoos
    Tei Shi
    The Average American Male
    The Cult Of Goal Setting
    The Elementary Particles
    The Hard Problem Of Consciousness
    The Possibility Of An Island
    The Rational Male
    The Red Pill
    The Weeknd
    Tokyo Ghoul
    True/not True
    Utility
    V For Vendetta
    Victor Frankl
    Virtual Reality
    VR
    We're Fucked
    WFIO
    Who Taught You To Hate Yourself
    Writing
    Zen
    Zen Habits

    Archives

    October 2017
    September 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014


Powered by
  • Blog
  • Top Shit
  • About
✕