It pains me to think about all the wasted energy I've spent worrying about things that are outside of my control. I've poured countless hours ruminating over a specific outcome that I didn't have ultimate influence over. There's a trap in thinking that just because you can partially influence an outcome, then that's the same thing as ultimate (or total) influence. That's an illusion, since the deciding factors are still outside of your control.
This is where fear comes from: you pretend that you have control over a situation, and in exerting the illusion of control, you paradoxically create even more anxiety about the outcome, since you assume responsibility for it.
Letting go is hard to do, but it's the path to freedom.
Let go of the idea that you can control or influence other people. Let go of the idea that you can engineer an outcome with any real degree of certainty. Embrace the chaotic uncertainty that is the heart of life, and you'll dispense with the fear that comes with trying to control it.
Worry about your own actions only, and you'll be in the centre of the hurricane, unaffected by the storm raging around you.
In the eye of the storm, that's where you'll find the serenity of the present moment - the only place where life is truly ever lived.
people I admire
Bret Easton Ellis