After being Facebook free for the last three years, I finally reactivated because I wanted to keep in better touch with my family abroad (everyone in my extended family lives in Europe and Asia).
I was browsing a friend's profile who I haven't seen in two years. He's since become a professional model, hangs out in exclusive looking clubs with extremely good looking, cool artist type people, and suddenly I remember why I'd deleted this damn thing in the first place.
Envy is an emotion that doesn't do anything useful. It's a poison tree, one that you have to remove by the roots before it grows.
Years ago, I watched a title fight between Georges St. Pierre and Josh Koscheck. Koscheck, a decorated NCAA wrestler, was expected to have an advantage in the takedown department, whereas St. Pierre was generally considered to be the better striker. Ostensibly, it was a matchup between two fighters with advantages in symmetrical aspects of the game.
Except it didn't go down that way.
St. Pierre, a man who never competed in the sport of wrestling (at any level), completely shut down Koscheck's wrestling game, and soon into the fight, fractured his orbital bone with a powerful jab. Koscheck's eye swelled up like a moist balloon, and he definitively lost a decision.
It occurred to me watching this that St. Pierre was better than Koscheck in every possible aspect of the game. He was simply better than him in every way possible.
And yet, what do you if you're Koscheck? Just roll over and die?
It's true that life involves competition like this, albeit massively scaled up, and typically less directly than a cage match between two opponents. But at the same time, it's equally true that it's a waste of time to ruminate on this, or even to give it much weight. It's not Koscheck's fault that St. Pierre is the more physically and skillfully gifted fighter. Koscheck did his best, but in his work, and maximized his potential. That's more than can be said for most people.
Mental comparisons through envy create a threat to your ego. The solution is lose the battle immediately, and avoid wasting time fighting it in the first place.
When I feel envious of another person, I simply shortcut to a simple script:
Then I move on, and never think about it again.
people I admire
Bret Easton Ellis